When Helping Turns Into Guilt
Many of us are raised to believe that giving back to our parents is our duty—and we gladly do it, especially when we start earning. But sometimes, that giving can be taken for granted.
One man shared his story about how things changed after he became a father. He had always sent part of his salary to his parents without question. But after his wife gave birth, their expenses went up, and he told his parents, “We can’t afford to send money for a while.” They seemed to understand… at first.
The next day, his mother visited unexpectedly. After she left, he found his wife crying. She said the mother had demanded money for a trip she planned with friends and claimed she’d lose the money if they didn’t help. To avoid drama, the man sent a small amount—just enough to cover her losses.
But instead of being thankful, his mother posted online, hinting that her son had forgotten her after starting his own family. His father later called, saying the mother was heartbroken and not speaking to anyone.
Now he’s torn. He still loves his parents, but he knows his wife and child must come first. He’s not sure if he’s being selfish—or simply growing into his new role as a father and husband.
This story is a reminder: being kind doesn’t mean letting yourself be used. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care. Sometimes, the hardest part of becoming an adult is learning how to say no—even to the people who raised you.
